The Week 1 Autopsy

I’ll assume you’re reading this after a hell of a bender. That’s what Week 1 is all about. But all over the interwebs, NFL writers are doing what they always do Week 1, pretending this is how the season will unfold. You’ll get none of that here. It was a day of sloppy football, underdogs surprising Vegas, and the last day of Ray Rice’s career.

Joe Flacco proved me right again. This time it cost his team points at the end of the first half. Today he says “that’s probably the stupidest play I’ve ever made.” That’s crazy talk, Joe, you’ve done much worse before, and you will again, because you’ve proven you don’t learn from your mistakes. We all saw your Jim Zorn era, with that 4 INT game against the Bengals. And we all saw your 5 INT game against the Bills just last year. You made the playoffs in 2012 by CHECKING DOWN ON 4th and 29. That was probably the stupidest play you’ve ever made, but it was against the Chargers so it worked. But keep doing what you’re doing. It’s not like the Ravens care, so why should I?

The Patriots lost to the Dolphins. People are saying the Patriots are in trouble since the rest of the division won yesterday. But the Patriots lost to the Dolphins last season, and the Dolphins didn’t use that to win the division. The Patriots went 12-4 last year, and could again this year. Last year the Patriots barely beat the Bills in Week 1. The Bills were terrible. The Patriots went to the AFC title game.

The Saints let a win slip away against the Falcons in a game that might have entertained fans of offense but disgusted me. 1000 yards of offense in the most half-assed way that could happen. Devin Hester had 99 yards of receiving. He sucks at receiving! The Saints will be alright, the Falcons will be alright until a WR is hurt, and Mike Smith will make decisions that only Joe Flacco could understand. Here’s what Mike Smith did, after 500 yards of offense, when the Falcons got the ball in overtime at the Saints 38 (thanks to a turnover):

Atlanta Falcons at 14:49
1-10-NO38 (14:49) S.Jackson right tackle to NO 35 for 3 yards (J.Galette).
2-7-NO35 (14:08) S.Jackson left end to NO 34 for 1 yard (J.Byrd).
3-6-NO34 (13:27) M.Ryan pass incomplete short left to L.Toilolo [J.Galette].
4-6-NO34 (13:22) M.Bryant 52 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-J.Harris, Holder-M.Bosher.
NO 34   ATL 37,   Plays: 4   Yards: 4   Possession: 1:32.

That’s embarrassing. Run to the right, run to the left, short pass incomplete. Yes, the kicker made the FG, but NO ONE should take a 52 yard FG for granted.

Some players who did great yesterday will probably be great all year. Cordarrelle Patterson, Peyton Manning…And vice versa. Andy Dalton, Tony Romo… But the TEAMS? No one knows. The Dolphins, Jets, Titans and Texans were all 1-0 at this time last year. The first two bottomed out and missed the playoffs, the last two were so bad their coaches got fired. So let’s settle down.

It’s a long season. That’s the best thing about it.



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