The War on Timeouts: Part 2 – Richtor Mortis

A rare college football update, as UGA coach Mark Richt – in his preposterous 14th year as a head coach – STILL doesn’t know when to call his timeouts at the end of a close game. He’s still great at looking confused, though. And instead of wasting his 2nd half timeouts, he decided not to use them, when the only reason not to use them at that point was to hurt his own team. Even Verne Lundquist understood what should have been done, and Verne “I beg your pardon” Lundquist is terrible.


pictured: Mark Richt, using the wrong arm for the nazi salute…or whining and trying to point? It’s too close to call…

Mark Richt quote:

Throughout all of life I try to live according to COLOSSIANS 3:23 –

“And whatever you do, do heartily, as to the Lord and not to men”

I’m not sure exactly what that superstitious mumbo-jumbo means, but it seems like it could mean, “Do your job well,” but I must be way off. Because for 14 years Mark Richt has refused to learn from his mistakes. Not giving the ball to the best RB in college football on first and goal from the 4 with a chance to win? Is that against Colossians? As far as I know, Paul wrote Colossians while in prison. People in prison are famously unreliable. Just look at Mein Kampf, or De Profundis.

If you’re gonna live according to scripture, how about:

“I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She is to keep silent.” (1 Timothy)

Probably not the best week for that quote. Moving on…

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands. (Proverbs)

That did NOT get better. Moving on…

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” (Matthew)

Now there’s one Timothy Richard Tebow should have studied. Let’s keep going…

“Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” (Genesis)

That one just makes me hungry. I could go for a bowl of stew. But I’m sure there’s more…

“And I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and all shall eat the flesh of their neighbors in the siege, and in the distress with which their enemies and those who seek their life afflict them.” (Leviticus)

Now THAT sounds like American tackle football! I’ll bet Lombardi loved Leviticus.

Love is patient, love is kind, thou shalt pay attention to thy game clock.



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