The New Poll-ution

First, read some great X’s and O’s stuff here and here. Great stuff, right?!

So Roger Goodell is “under fire” from people who can’t do anything to him. A new poll says that 37.8% of “fans” want Goodell fired, 28.5% want him to remain as commissioner, and 33.6% don’t even know their own goddamn opinion.

So while famous and apparently immortal hack Frank Grandpa Munster Deford is against him, Peter King is making excuses for both himself and Goodell, while his site publishes shit like this, how should the true football fan feel?

You shouldn’t give a shit. Or a flying fuck. Or the proverbial rat’s ass.

Roger Goodell doesn’t matter to football. Neither did Paul Tagliabue or Pete Rozelle or Bert Bell. They didn’t invent football or television or gambling. They chisel already-crooked politicians out of money for stadiums on behalf of 31 insanely rich douchebaggy owners and whatever lucky cheese-eating fucker gentleman who’s running the Packers. I’d love to respect some of the owners, but there’s not any good ones. Robert Kraft hangs out with woman-beater Floyd Mayweather. Dan Snyder’s a proud racist who rapes the environment. The new Bills owner made his fortune fucking fracking raping the environment. Jerry Jones cares about glitz and glamour but not winning. Tom Benson tried like hell to move the Saints after Katrina but settled for chiseling the locals. The Rooneys don’t care how many women Roethlisberger [allegedly] rapes. But they’ll really get upset at a dude for smoking pot. Jim Irsay flaunts his wealth and pretends he earned it. Jerry Richardson played the game but it was so long ago he doesn’t give a shit about the players. And Al Davis’s ghost is still fucking people out of money somewhere. If you think the only bad sports owners around were Frank McCourt and Donald Sterling, wake the fuck up.

But as far as getting fired for the Ray Rice mess, Roger Goodell didn’t punch a woman. And he’s not law enforcement, and he’s not a prosecutor. The ratio of domestic violence outside of the NFL is higher than inside. Organizations like NOW and Ultraviolet pretend to (and maybe occasionally?) stand up for women. But they didn’t give a shit about domestic violence in the NFL until 2014. That’s THEIR fault, not Goodell’s. He was never anything but a douchey P.R. guy with little knowledge of NFL history. He claims to be offended by things like bounties, when the NFL NETWORK shows NFL FILMS footage of players and coaches (from the 70s especially) laughing about bounties on themselves and others. Especially Raiders and Steelers and there are literally books that celebrate such shenanigans. Not tweets, not anecdotes. BOOKS. Also, this. And this.

If you’re a football fan, love the strategy and play design and teamwork and hard work and ballsy athletes. And if you’re like me, you’ll enjoy those things in the context of the gambling, cheating and/or gamesmanship and occasional violence that sets it apart from boring sports (read: all other sports). And especially the gambling!

Don’t spend your time caring one whit about whomever the commissioner is. Bud Selig didn’t get punished for the steroid era. David Stern didn’t get punished for gambling referees. Roger Goodell didn’t get punished for the concussion shenanigans which are costing the league more than a BILLION DOLLARS. Goodell will survive and continue to play golf with billionaires, practically extort states and cities, and just generally spread Ginger Hammer cheer everywhere, by which I mean nowhere. But it won’t matter, because it never has.

The only Commish that matters is this one. And that show kinda sucked, too. But The Shield had a good season, right?


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