An Open Letter to Steve Smith

Dear Mr. Smith,

I heard your appearance on the aptly named radio show “Bustin Loose” and just thought I’d share one man’s reaction to your kind words.

“Now that I play well you’re going to try and say that I’m a distraction…I’ve always been a distraction, but I didn’t beat my wife.  Yeah I hit some teammates six or seven years ago but I never beat my wife.  I didn’t get arrested for DUIs.  I didn’t fall off no motorcycles.”

There’s a lot to unpack in that blast. I’m not sure about the motorcycles. As for “hit some teammates six or seven years ago,” I assume you’re referring to you’re cowardly attack on YOUR TEAMMATE Anthony Bright in the film room in 2002 and your cowardly attack of YOUR TEAMMATE Ken Lucas on the field in 2008. That would be six and twelve years ago, but as math isn’t my own strong suit, I won’t take you 2 task 4 it.

You should not applaud yourself for hitting men instead of women. I’d like to think this was obvious, but quotes like “Put your goggles on, cause there’s gonna be blood and guts everywhere,” make me question your logic AND lead me to believe you’re an unappreciated American poet. Like Robert Frost, only both of your roads always lead to carnage.

“He didn’t come to me man-to-man. He said he’s a player’s coach.”

No one knows what a player’s coach is. I’m sure every coach thinks of himself as one. And if you break down the words, all coaches are the “players” “coach”. They COACH the PLAYERS. It’s kinda a rhetorical rabbit hole, eh?

“He hid in his office.”

It’s not hiding if he’s in the office with his own goddamn name on it. That’s not what HIDING is. He could have been diddling in there, or sequestered himself in there. But not hiding. Not in HIS OFFICE.

As to why you chose to be a Baltimore Raven, “Because I’m a tough and gritty S.O.B.”

You probably are, but so is Terrell Suggs. He punched his lady and he’s still a Raven. He dragged her out of a moving car in front of their children. You’ve put SMITH SR. on your uniform this year, as you’re a proud father of Steve Smith Jr, WHO IS ADORABLE!!!!!!!!! It’s disappointing you’d want to be teammates with a woman-beating coward such as Terrell Suggs, even if he did go to Ball So Hard University.

Good luck in your future endeavors.

With all due respect, meaning none,

Just a guy

P.S. You do make some great catches sometimes. If only you’d let people concentrate on that, instead of the teammate-punching radio show bitter whining.

P.P.S. Ice up, son!

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