Russell Wilson, MIP

Not MVP. MIP. Most Ignorant Player.

Russell Wilson not only believes God helped him win on Sunday, he believes God is to blame for the interceptions Wilson threw during the part of the game where he sucked. He being Wilson, not God, who probably doesn’t exist.

Hell, let’s go with definitely. Any non-douchebag Lord of whatever woulda brought an end to child starvation by now. Maybe it was hilarious at some point. Or maybe Jehovah is just too busy helping Russell Wilson win football games. You’ve gotta be a real jackass to think God cares about you, and you’ve gotta be a special type of jackass to think that God ignores everyone else to CAUSE you to throw interception and then flips the switch to help you win. Did God forget he took the Seahawks at St. Peter’s casino? Why would God hate the Packers? If anything, God would have smote (smited?) Richard Sherman’s sorry ass long ago.

I wish there was a God, because Earth kinda sucks most of the time, and I wish there was a hell for people like Russell Wilson to burn in. But there’s not. I can only hope the Seahawks lose the Super Bowl so that Wilson can explain to all of us why God deserted him and gave favor to The Hoodie. Gronkowski’s gotta be a heathen, right?

On one hand, maybe God told Wilson to finalize his divorce before getting that big money 2nd contract. In which case, score 1 for God, and 0 for money-grubbing hoes. On the other hand, maybe Wilson’s wife just realized he was a Bible thumping loser and froze him out.

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